As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
