just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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