okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
