watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
handjob tips. give me some.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize