Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
