apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
