Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
