One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
