So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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