alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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