Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
