But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
Randomize
