The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
