i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
