Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Sober January is a disaster.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
