That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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