Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
