He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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