Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
