Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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