didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
