this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
