Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
