This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
