i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Randomize
