Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Randomize
