so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
