$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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