Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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