I just saw a hot homeless man
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
