please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
