Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
