i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Randomize