How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
