Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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