i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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