bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
