Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
