Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
