she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
