she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Randomize
