We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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