Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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