two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
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