It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
