Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Randomize
