Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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