I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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