Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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