guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
