Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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