last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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