I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
wow bdsm is so cute
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
