I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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